Blessed Firsts

Sometimes I cannot believe that my life is my own.  It is hard to swallow all the great blessing that Caleb and I experience as Husband and Wife, Parents and Children of God.  Over the last two weeks we attempted what many people have called the impossible - we took 4 small children to Easter Europe for a conference and family vacation.  Now, please don't get me wrong, we did not do this by ourselves or without major planning first.  We brought our Nanny, Rachel, who works with our family full time and we also brought Caleb's sister Esther who has cared for our children before as well.  We have LOVED having them both on this trip and treasure not only their helpfulness and ability to know right when to step in but we have also had great time of getting to know them both better and live life together, a great blessing in itself.

So Wednesday the 11th of January we took off on what became 30 hours of travel across the US, the Atlantic Ocean and then much of Europe to land in Budapest, Hungary.  The city was marvelous and filled with so much history and beautiful architecture.  We went to the baths at Chenchene, pronounced  Say-chan-eee which was so fun and the kids really loved going from pool to pool experiencing the different water temperatures as well as minerals.  EthnieMay described one of the baths as smelling like really yucky old potatoes.

We went up into the mountains of Hungary for SuperWeek, a conference that Caleb had the privelidge of Keynoting.  He really enjoyed his 2 sessions he taught at as well as being on 2 panels with good friends and colleges Justin Cutroni and Nick from the Google office.

After Hungary we jumped on a plane to land in Zurich Switzerland.  Switzerland is my favorite country.  We flew into Zurich and got to go to the Google office which was one of our cooler experiences.  There office is completely unique and gave us much inspiration for the office we are working to build in Bend.

Then we took a train to Berne, and then onto Wengen where we have been experiencing a Swiss ski vacation complete in a lovely Chalet in the Alps.  The town is car-less and has many cute shops and restaurants, the Chalet is Ski In/Out.  Jonny, Caleb's brother also came to visit us and we all played in the snow.

Today we skied the alps including EthnieMay and Zeb going to their first ski school.  The Swiss except 2 year olds unlike the US where we can't start until they are 4!  Both were getting on and off the magic carpet by the end of the day and skiing independently down the hill.  Emmy learned to stop as well, a huge accomplishment.  We all took a ride up the gondola at the end of the day which Zeb thought was amazing.

Firsts:

1. 30 hours of travel with 4 under 4
2. Budapest
3. Baths
4. SuperWeek
5. Zurich
6. Swiss Train Travel
7. Wengen
8. Swiss Alps
9. Ski School
10. Staying in a Chalet

4 under 4

4 under 4 seems like such a better title for my life right now than Whitmore Family News. But alas I digress before I have started.

Bardez was born to us at 5:30am as a large healthy baby. He made it even after I had so many fears of loosing him. Now he is here and the weight of this being our last baby has made me a pile of mush. I want to hold on to every moment and remember every day. As I pile up clothes that don't fit (or write this post) it makes me cry to let go of even a little part of the 'little newborn' phase. He is growing and interacting and becoming more and more of his own person. I cannot wait to see who that person is but selfishly I want to stop time - to live in the days of co-sleeping and nursing and just smiling at each other. There is no purer love than that of a new baby.

While my heart desires that and my eyes fill with tears at the thought of anything but that I know something inside of me is pulling to to something better. Less fear more joy. Less holding on to everything more holding just one thing. Less discontent and more contentedness. I don't want to let go of my fear, holding on, my discontent because it threatens my need for control. Knowing something better is out there, ready to relieve and offer reprieve doesn't always win.

I feel like Job when he says 3:26 "I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest" the key to the verse is the ending though, it goes on to say "but trouble comes". My trouble is not trouble at all. Why does my heart believe it to be so? How do I feel like empathizing with Job when I am not experiencing similar things? Job encountered real trouble, loss of his whole family even. He is encouraged by friends to curse God. That is not my state. I need not curse anything as I am blessed, God has blessed me over and over. Why can't I turn it back to him. To let him hold the blessing that he has given me. Why am I so scared for being 'cursed' myself?

What do you do when you feel like you can't let go - when you need to keep this one to yourself? Where do you hide and what is your breaking point - when do you get to let go?

Birthday's - June 22nd!

EthnieMay is 2 years old, 36 inches and 30 lbs.

Zeb is 1 year old, 33 inches and 28 lbs.

Today was a great birthday filled with sunshine, playing at the water park, pancakes, shrimp kabobs and present opening!

New Hat from the Hutton's!

Getting good at opening presents!

New Hat from Naomi and Allen!

At the water park

Shrimp for dinner and some pancakes...